I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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