Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
