i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
