Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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