she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
