So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
