I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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