So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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