new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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