He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
