like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
