It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
