Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
