Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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