I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
