that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
