This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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