Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize