Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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