im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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