i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
