let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.