do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
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