Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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