You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
