The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
