bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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