You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
