im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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