Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
