our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
