My nipple is on Facebook.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
