Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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