I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
