What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
