Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had sex on a dog bed..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
