if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
