Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
