Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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