Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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