she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize