i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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