I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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