Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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