wrigley field is MILF paradise
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
