I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
