i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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