You don't have asthma, your pregnant
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
