Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
