So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
