and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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