He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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