pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
