My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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