Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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