Whod you bang
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
