I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
