I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
