She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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