What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I am morally bankrupt
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
