Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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