Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
