What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
