shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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