but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
