Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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