Duck Duck Cougar?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
