they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
